Techniques for using your hands to reinforce your message

Before you next attend a meeting or have to speak to a group, reflect on what you’re going to say and think about how you will use your hands to reinforce your message.

1. If when you’re speaking you plan to address a number of issues, use your fingers to support this; hold up one finger when you’re referring to issue 1, two fingers for issue 2 and so on. You could use two hands for this if you prefer – rest the fingers of one hand on the outstretched palm of the other.

2. Be sure to have a resting position for your hands when you’re not using them. Otherwise, you could look as though you don’t know what to do with them. Most people find the most comfortable resting position to be arms slightly bent in front of your body, with your hands held together and fingers gently interlocked (ideally without the whites of your knuckles showing of course!) You might prefer a different resting position if this doesn’t feel natural so try experimenting and find your own – it’s important that you’re comfortable and relaxed with it, otherwise you won’t use it.

3. Try to be calm and measured with your hand movements. Fast or jerky hand movements can be a distraction and may well give people the impression you’re nervous or just not comfortable.

4. Don’t fold your arms (unless in an informal environment where it doesn’t matter). This could be seen as defensive and might make you appear unapproachable.

5. Don’t fidget, wring your hands or touch your face or neck. This can suggest you’re feeling nervous or insecure; just as children often scratch their leg when telling a lie, adults might scratch the back of their head, rub their arm or fiddle with their fingers when they’re nervous.